worrying in yellow alert ...

"I have to worry, it's the only thing I'm good at." - Arthur Christmas 

i hear the low rumble of distant thunder in my head. 

constantly. 

i worry. 

a lot. 

all the time. 

i worry about everything. i worry about parking, and driving, and teaching, and learning, and sleeping, and not sleeping, and food, and money, and eating, and working, and not working. 

i worry in a car with the doors locked at night. i worry driving with the window open in the day time. i worry walking the dog past strangers. i worry about being seen. i worry about NOT being seen. i worry about being alone.  

i worry constantly. 

the worries grow exponentially. the more worries i have, the more i worry. my head is like an appendix of things to worry about. 

i am in a constant state of yellow alert ... ready to spring to red alert at the slightest sign of trouble. 

so i wanted to write about some strategies for dealing with worries. 

1. a gratitude journal. it is difficult to think about your worries when you are listing the things that you are grateful for. brene brown said that gratitude is a practice - that it is something you have to actively work at. each night, i write a list of the things that i am grateful for. 
2. tell someone. anyone. the more you keep your worries to yourself, the bigger they get. it's like a balloon that you keep putting air into: it gets bigger and bigger and you know that at some point it is going to burst. but telling someone your worry is like letting the air out of the balloon. 
3. list your FACTS ...Fast Accurate Concise Truthful Statements. (see http://aprilgigiangels.blogspot.ca/2014/02/uitwaaien-facts.html for more information on my FACTS strategy)
4. work through a plan. some of the things that i worry about, like directions on how to get somewhere, can be solved by making a plan.
5. making a list of what you are worried about is a way to get it out of your head. but it also allows you to break down your worries into pieces. which takes away from the giant pile. 

people often tell me not to worry. don't worry about it. you worry too much. as if i can just turn off the worries in my head. 

i wish i could. i wish more than anything that i could go an hour without thinking about all my worries. but all i can do, is be kind to myself in my worrying. 


be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

here is some worrying music ...  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci44xau9n7Q
http://www.last.fm/tag/worrying
http://www.allmusic.com/album/sacred-songs-for-worrying-times-mw0000823125
http://8tracks.com/leisurelilt/worrying-music
http://www.last.fm/music/Bobby+McFerrin/_/Don't+Worry,+Be+Happy
http://www.mtv.com/videos/swedish-house-mafia/839069/dont-you-worry-child.jhtml

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