Personal Truth and being a fraud

wise woman wrote to me yesterday and said ...

Getting to know our personal truth can be extremely challenging ... We lie to ourselves as often, if not more, than we lie to others. And sharing your personal truth can be even more of a challenge. 

But without it, where would we be?!

so what is truth? truth is the real facts, the quality or state of being true. truth is the feeling in your gut that tells you the difference between right and wrong. truth is the little voice in your head that screams (sometimes silent muffled screams) when something is disingenuous. 

personal truth is the story inside of you that you try to protect others from knowing, because you are afraid if they really knew you, they would leave. personal truth are the thoughts in your head about yourself that are valid (not the voice of the inner critic click here and here for my posts about the inner critic ...). denial is very powerful, and sometimes our personal narratives are disingenuous. or as wise woman said, "I think we're good at self deception though ... our 'wishful personal truth' narrative might not always be accurate." 

telling the difference is the biggest challenge of our lives. 

so how do we tell the difference? how do we combat the feeling of being a fraud?

i usually feel like i am faking my way through the things that i need to do. faking being competent at my job. faking knowing how to sing. faking knowing anything at all. sometimes i feel like a fraud because i borrow ideas from other people. 

other times, being a fraud means not being truthful to myself. when i am trying to be something that someone else wants me to be. and that is a scary place to be. 

wise woman said "part of being fraudulent is difficulty owning how brilliant we are." ... this rings so true for me. 

part of being fraudulent is difficulty owning how worthy we are ...

difficulty owning how deserving we are ...

difficulty owning that we are enough ...

i am often terrified to speak my truth for fear of being misunderstood, for fear of being judged, for fear of being vulnerable. or for fear of being found out that i am really a fraud. 

however, lately i have been letting myself be seen from the inside out, and surprisingly, no ceilings have fallen on my head, no lightening has struck me down, and more importantly, no one has left me after i have shared (bared) my personal truth - after finding out who i truly am. 

our truth makes us whole. our truth makes us authentic. when we begin to embody our truths, we can move through the world with more confidence and ease. our truth is our personal narrative. it is how we recall our lives. it is subjective and purely, solely, ours. 

as mark twain said, "a lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes [...] if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

be truthfully kind to yourself,

xoxo

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