feeling deeply

feeling. 

feelings are hard. 

now that i am no longer finding ways to numb myself from feelings, i am experiencing emotions more intensely than i ever have before. even the happy and joyful emotions are intense. 

"you learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. to deny is to invite madness. to accept is to control." - megan chance

you can't have control over your emotions. but you can have control over how you react to the emotions that you have. you can control your behaviour. 

"but feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem." - anne frank

i tried to ignore my feelings for many years. i did everything i could NOT to have to feel. but as robert frost wrote:  

"the best way out is always through" - robert frost

working my way through the emotions, instead of trying to avoid them is my biggest challenge. but it's important to remember that, as nosy nora often tells me, they are just feelings and they will change. feelings will pass. 

"feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky." - Thich Nhat Hanh

and it's hard. hard hard hard to feel so deeply and so intensely. 

then there is the sharing of feelings. not only do i have to feel the emotions, but i am learning how to express them to people. 

"never apologize for showing your feelings. when you do, you are apologizing for the truth." - jose n. harris

i am learning to tell people how i feel. but more importantly, i am learning to tell MYSELF how i feel. to name my feelings is a challenge for me. but i am learning all sorts of words. i actually made myself a list of feeling words that i can turn to if i am having trouble identifying my emotions. 

learning to feel, and learning to express how i feel is an ongoing goal. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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