Holophrasis: no means no

have you ever struggled to find the words to say what you mean? 

there are often not enough words. so i resort to made up words like "grosh" which describes exactly how i feel when i am cranky. or "frizzle frazzle razzle dazzle" which expresses my frustration when i can't explain it. 

but i think the most important holophrasis is "NO."

NO NO NO NO NO. 

saying no is my biggest struggle. is it yours? i am constantly being asked to take on responsibilities and i always say yes. social situations when i am exhausted and not up to being with people are another time when no doesn't come to my lips.

i am a yesser. yes yes yes. all the time with the yes. unless it's about me, in which case i say no to myself quite often - no you can't buy yourself that dress, no you can't have that cookie, no you can't take time for yourself, no you can't stay home when there is a party going on. 

i learned early on that taking care of the needs of others was more important than taking care of my own needs. i heard no a lot growing up, but never learned to say it myself. i always feel like no will hurt someone's feelings - like no will be the end of the relationship.

LES said, "i grew up learning that my needs were secondary to others ... both my parents were care takers ... givers ... so i learned early on that it is ok to have needs but that the needs of others always come above your own."

nosy wise woman once said that no is easy ... "it starts with your tongue behind your teeth and ends with your lips in a circle." (gotta love a smartalec)

just in case you have trouble saying no ... here are some other words for "no"

absolutely not, most certainly not, of course not, under no circumstances, by no means, not at all, negative, never, not really, nope, uh uh, or even nay. 

or, there is always ...

be kind to yourself

xoxo

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