SMK

Last night, radical t and I went to hear Sue Monk Kidd (SMK) speak. 

It was marvelous. 

Difficult to pay attention at times because I had a letter for her in my bag. I was so nervous to give it to her. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. Mostly because I didn't know what to say or how to say it. radical t said to rehearse in my head what i was going to say so that i didn't get tongue tied ... but i couldn't think of what the right words to say could possibly be! how do you say to a stranger that you feel an incredible connection to them because of their writing? 

to read more about my connection to SMK, click here. 

I will admit that at first I was uncomfortable as she spoke about her book whose main characters include an enslaved black girl in the 1800s in South Carolina. How could this white woman write in the voice of a black girl? Can you say cultural appropriation? 

But as her talk wound it's way through the story and through her personal narrative, and her reasons for writing this story ... it all fell into place. 

Growing up in pre-civil rights Georgia gave her a unique perspective. 

My favorite part of the night was when a man asked her if she had read Solomon Northup's memoir about his life in slavery. And SMK answered by saying yes, but then talked about Harriet Ann Jacob's book The Life of a Slave Girl. Brilliant. she took the question and reframed it through her own lens of feminism and the importance of contributions by women. genius. 

After her talk, we got in line to get our books signed. Not the book she was speaking about, but the book that we found inspiring. And I still didn't know what to say. When it was finally my turn and I was standing beside her, I decided to tell her that it felt like she had climbed in my head and wrote my story. She said "oh wow that's great." And I said "so I wrote you a letter" and handed her the envelope. She thanked me and put it aside. I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I walked away. 

I can't help but feel like it was a missed opportunity. I could have said so much... About butterflies and cocoons and personal transformation and my own emotional diapause ... But I suppose that's all in the letter and I just have to hope that she reads it. 

I believe that regret is a wasted emotion. And yet I can't help but regret not saying more to her. 

This is the book that touched me. 

And this is her signature beside the cocoon. 

transformation involves waiting. which is the hardest part. 

be kind to yourself. 

xoxo

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