i am the boss of me.
i am in charge of my life.
i get to make the decisions.
this is all according to nosy nora, of course.
for me, the idea that i am in charge of my life is both thrilling and terrifying.
since when am i trustworthy enough to be in charge of anything? i still can't believe that i am put in charge of the safety of children and their education on a daily basis! and now nosy nora wants me to be in charge of myself ?!?!
i really struggle with this idea of being an adult. i still wait for a parent figure to tell me what to do - to rescue me. to make me a dentist appointment (which is why my teeth haven't seen a dentist in a few years). to make an eye doctor appointment. to remember to pay the bills. to clean my house.
being an adult involves being responsible for yourself. and i hate that.
as a child, i was encouraged to be independent and responsible. i took care of my own needs by finding people to fill the roles that were missing from my life. i dealt with problems in school by myself. i met with teachers for parent interviews by myself. so i cling to the part that was taken care of for me, like cleaning the house, making medical appointments, paying the bills ... i wait for those things to be taken care of by someone else because i am still trying to be responsible for all the rest of it.
being an adult sucks. it is terrifying to be in charge of everything having to do with myself and my well-being.
and at the same time ... being an adult is thrilling ... i get to be responsible for making decisions. i get to decide what i eat, and when i eat, and what i wear, and when i go to bed, and IF i want to do ANYTHING at all !!!!!
be kind to yourself ... listen to nosy nora and be your own boss
xoxo
ps ... nosy nora if tells me to be to be the boss of myself, then is she not really the boss?
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