at school, eating was regimented. we could eat when it was snack time, and lunch time, and those were the only times when food was allowed. as a teacher, i fight against this idea of children not know when they are hungry. what if they aren't hungry at lunch time? what if they are hungry at 10:30 am? or at 2:45?
in my classroom, students are allowed to eat when they are hungry. we do have a healthy-food-only rule. at lunch time they are allowed whatever junk they feel for. but in the classroom, there are no chips, chocolate, cookies, or sugary drinks allowed as a snack.
i want my students to learn that they are in charge of their bodies and that their bodies know what they need. so if they want to eat chicken noodle soup at 10 am, they are allowed. if they want to eat an apple or yogurt or cheese and crackers at 2:30 pm, they are allowed. i never ever tell them that they aren't hungry. if they say, "i'm hungry" i either direct them to their lunch bag, or to the "hungry basket" i have at the front of the room that is filled with fruit and crackers and bagels and melba toast and bread sticks. there is one child whose mother sends a bag of snacks every month and he keeps them in a drawer. he knows where his snacks are and he can eat them whenever he wants to.
i can see parents cringing when they read this. a child allowed to eat whenever s/he wants to? they will over-eat and gain weight and be unhealthy and unhappy.
bullshit.
i overate as a child when i was denied food. i overate in secret. and what i snuck to eat was unhealthy, full of trans fats, and full of sugar. food became a comfort. it became my secret rebellion against the lack of control i was given around my hunger. and other times, i used my ability to starve myself as a form of control. the summer i was 12, i lived on juice. i was taken to doctors and weighed and measured. i was bribed with food. but i refused to eat for an entire 2 months.
the child in my classroom who was given free-reign over his food started out eating non-stop all day long. he would forage and stuff his face with the snacks his mother sent for him. but over time, as he learned that the food was there whenever he wanted it, and that his teachers would allow him to eat whenever he wanted ... he slowed down. now, he may go days without accessing his snack drawer. his hunger is real. his hunger is legitimate. and his hunger is his responsibility. so he manages it in a healthy way. because HE is in charge of his body. he listens to his hunger.
i could learn an awful lot from this little boy.
i have unleashed my hunger over the last few months. my hunger for food. my hunger for knowledge. my hunger for spiritual fulfillment. my hunger for love. my hunger for peace and stillness in myself.
unleashing my hunger means trusting myself. and trusting myself is terrifying. i was taught from birth not to trust my instincts. i was taught not to listen to myself. i was taught to eat breakfast before school, even if i wasn't hungry; to eat lunch at 12:00, even if i wasn't hungry; and to wait until dinner at 5:00 before i eat again, even if i was feeling hungry before then.
i was taught to do what i was told, regardless of what i want.
i was taught that love meant putting everyone else ahead of me and my needs.
i am unleashing my hunger on the world. i am taking it all in. sometimes that means i am so overwhelmed that i can't get off the couch. sometimes it means i curl up in my self-imposed cocoon and cry. sometimes it means i eat an entire bowl of cadbury mini-eggs. sometimes it means i listen harder, i speak my truth clearer, and i love more intensely.
unleash your hunger.
be kind to yourself,
xoxo
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