baby steps

change is hard. 

and it doesn't happen all at once. 

i often make the mistake of trying to make a bunch of changes all at once which is setting myself up for failure ... which is inevitable ... 

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

i need to change my thinking about changing. i need to stop trying to make all these giant shifts all at once. small steps each day is the only way to make effective changes. 

for example, tonight i added broccoli to dinner. that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it really is. broccoli and carrots. tomorrow i plan to drink a glass of water. just one. i never drink water. mostly because i have to pee all the time and i know that drinking water will make it a hundred times worse. but tomorrow my baby step will be to drink a glass of water. 

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” ― Andy Warhol

i could sit around and wait for my life to change. i could get up tomorrow and eat only healthy foods, drink lots of water, work-out for an hour and a half ... i could do all that ... but i wont do it again the next day. changing yourself means being realistic and making small steps. 

“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” ― Maya Angelou

my current state is not nurturing. i am not happy with my life the way it is right now. there are things that i need to make different. and i need to acknowledge that it is hard. 

“Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

we only have one life, and we only have one self. altering our lives means altering ourselves. we need to adapt ourselves to be our best selves. and this means taking baby steps towards greatness. this means pushing through, and pushing past what we think we cannot achieve. 

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” ― Madonna

who knew i would offer advice from madonna. but it's good advice. becoming a better version of yourself is possible. it is not out of reach. but not by making giant changes all at once. 

“How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day.” ― Anne Frank

now anne frank, that's more my style of offering wisdom. 

each night when i lay in bed, i make it a point to go over my day and consider the good and the bad. i then follow zed's example and i think about the people in my life and my wishes for them. and in the morning, i endeavor to do better.  

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ― Carl R. Rogers

geneen roth said, you are not a problem to be solved. that is a very difficult thing to hear and believe. but making changes doesn't mean that you are broken or worthless. it simply means that you want more for yourself. that you deserve better than the life that you are living. that you deserve more. that you deserve to experience enoughness. 
(see http://aprilgigiangels.blogspot.ca/2014/04/enoughness.html) 

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

remaking ourselves IS possible. it isn't easy. but nothing worthwhile is easy. altering habits isn't easy, but it can be done one day at a time. it's the belief in ourselves that needs to change.

believe in yourself and your ability to be great. believe in your ability that you are enough. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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gratitude

"cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously." - ralph waldo emerson


today AS, CJ, and CG came to help us declutter our house. after reorganizing the kitchen and bagging up at least a tonne of stuff to donate, i was sitting by myself waiting for pizza to be delivered ... everyone else was in the basement organizing ... and i began to cry. 

i cried because i don't believe myself worthy or deserving of such kindness. i was overcome with gratitude and overwhelmed by the kindness being bestowed upon us. 

thank you AS, CJ, and CG for your help today. thank you for uplifting my heart, and allowing me to experience such gratitude towards you. 

"piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." - a.a. milne

be kind to yourself, and find a way to express your gratitude, even if it is only to yourself ...

xoxo

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feeding me with feedback

there is nothing greater than getting feedback on my blog. i wanted to share this email that i received from E, about the post from yesterday, "unleashing my hunger" (click here to read the original post). 

So here is our guest blogger of the day, E:

What is forbidden is desired.  Which is why my own kids eat when they want and what they want.  

Of course we do have dinner as a family but depending on their snacking throughout the day they may eat more or less at the table with us and it was and still is never a problem.  

My Mom did the same thing as yours about food with us, especially junk food.  Which is why I have a huge junk food drawer at my house with a basket filled with chocolate and candy on the coffee table and every now and again I have to dump it in the trash because no one really seems to care about it.  As you say, it is there and not restricted and anyone that comes over always comments on how “good” my kids have it with the abundance and accessability of treats.

My Mom used to discipline us to eat our dinner.  The more she forced us to eat everything that was on our plates, the less hungry I became.  Dinner was a dreadful event. My mom was one of 7 kids in a very poor home and so she just couldn’t understand how we did not want food when she would have killed for it growing up.  

By the time she had my younger brother and sister, she didn’t care anymore and pretty much changed her whole attitude about eating and the rules around it.  She cleaned homes for a living and often commented on how the families she worked for did things very differently and then she would try to do the same at home.

As far as the rule on love goes, the Biblical command to “love your neighbour as yourself” can only work if you truly do love yourself and treat yourself kindly.  Otherwise if you don’t love yourself and treat others as yourself, then wouldn’t that mean you are not being truly kind to others?

As you can see, you have struck a cord in me.  I too get angry about the whole food issue when it comes to kids.  When I am hungry I NEED to eat. That is all I can think about at that moment. Therefore, when students are hungry then they should be allowed to eat as well. Especially them, who are growing little bodies.

thank you E, for sharing your story. what is forbidden is desired. love yourself and love others. eat when you are hungry. eat what you feel for. 

treating yourself well so that you can treat others well. that is a good message. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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