i was talking to CP today, and she was telling me about her toddler pulling out the laundry that she had organized. that every time she sorted it, he would undo the sorting. until she gave in and said, ok, let's play with the laundry ...
metaphorically, some part of me is undoing all the organizing that i am trying to do. some part of me wants to play, not sort.
this week i am cutting out white flour. i have done it before, it's not that difficult. and i am going to try to add one more vegetable each day.
i have been avoiding going to the gym because every time i try to go, i have a panic attack. i think the reason is that i am worried about being judged while i am there because i know i am not up to doing the entire workout. so instead of going and doing a partial workout, i am avoiding going altogether. so my fitness goal this week is to go to the gym once. just once. if i go more, that's awesome. but if i get there once, that is super wonderfully great.
organizing my life also involves paying my bills. which i did today. yay! and sorting through paperwork which SC and i did last night.
along with sorting through papers and doing work that needs to get done, we have also been sorting through our belongings, throwing things away, and making donations. it is very freeing to get rid of things that we don't need. and it opens up space in our house. especially the kitchen. who needs 7 ice cube trays? i mean, really!?
as well as organizing things in my head, in my house, and on my desk, i have also been organizing meals and food. the plan is to chop up veggies this evening so that they are ready for the week. i will report back tomorrow to tell you if it actually got done.
organizing my life also include vitamins and supplements that the doctor has said i need to take. not just buying them, but actually putting them into my pill organizer and remembering to take them.
nosy nora says that it is good to dress in clothing that is comfortable and makes you feel good. geneen roth says the same thing, except that she goes so far as to say you can wear a silk dress to the grocery store if it feels good. she talks about finding fabrics that make you feel good. i recently donated ALL my clothing that doesn't fit me. and clothes that i was holding onto for 15 years.
i am working really hard to organize my life, despite the part of me that is rebelling and undoing all the good that i try to do.
so back to CP and the image of her sorting laundry while her toddler unsorts it and plays with the clothes ...
CP said that maybe i just need to put the metaphorical underwear on my head and engage in playtime before i am able to sort the metaphorical laundry. this blog is the underwear on my head. it's my way of playing. rather than to rebel against myself and sabotage my best efforts, i need to listen to myself and my need to play. nosy nora keeps telling me to get my guitar fixed so that i can play that. i can also play piano, play with my dog, play with my students, play with wool, play with walks, play with writing, play with reading, play play play play play ... and maybe, just maybe, if i allow myself to have playtime, then the organizing will fall into place.
be kind to yourself, no matter how organized you are or not, and find time to play!
xoxo
ps:
P.L.A.Y. = Putting Love and Adventure in You
P.L.A.Y. = Passion, Love, Adventure, Youthfulness
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