decompression

finding ways to decompress is so important for our mental health. 

Allow yourself time to decompress and process what has happened. - Lynn Lawrance

sometimes it takes time to process things that have happened, or things that have been said. sometimes that means sitting by yourself and writing, like i do. other times it means tuning out and not thinking while the ideas percolate in your mind. 

They want to just decompress a little bit and enjoy a good time together. Listen to some great music, have a drink and maybe a little bit of denial. Maybe exit the real world for a little while and enter fantasy land. - Richard Feldman

there are times when you need to decompress from your day, or from a visit from family, and spending time with your friends. this kind of decompression means finding a way to take yourself out of your life for a moment or two. by watching a movie, reading a book, listening to music, or dancing the night away with good friends. 

“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.” ― Jane Austen

i like to decompress at home. i like to take time for myself and write, or read, or even watch tv. i love my couch time. i love the time that i take to relax on my couch with a cup of tea - to feel the comfort of being in my own home. 

“There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” ― James Carroll

another way to decompress is to be in nature. to go for a walk through the woods, or by water. to take the time to notice the little things like the buds on the trees in spring, the birds singing, the squirrels chasing. being still through meditation or just sitting with yourself is another way for breezes from another world to whisper to you. some people believe that the voice that whispers is a higher power. others believe that the voice is yours. whatever your belief system, being still and listening inside is a way to be with yourself and to decompress. 

“All relaxation does is allow the truth to be felt. The mind is cleared, like a dirty window wiped clean, and the magnitude of what we might ordinarily take for granted inspires tears.” ― Jay Michaelson

there are times when we need to debrief what has happened. this is another way to get it out of you in order to decompress. this can be through talking it out with a friend, or through writing it down. feeling our truth is bigger than speaking it. there are times when our truth is larger than us and feels crushing. but your truth is your most important tool in self-love and in happiness. 

there are many instances where i need to decompress. coming home from work, i am exhausted. sometimes that means taking a nap. other times it means writing. coming home from a family event means tuning out the world and my thoughts and entering a fantasy world through reading or watching tv. after therapy, i need time to myself, to write, to think, to process, to debrief. and after a medical appointment, i need to listen to music or to a podcast, to let the emotions calm down before i think about what the doctor has said. 

how do you decompress? what do you need decompression from? share your ideas in the comments section. and if you get this blog emailed to you, please consider visiting the website and feeding the fish. it is very calming. and then you can leave me a comment. 

www.aprilgigiangels.blogspot.com 


be kind to yourself, and remember ... 

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” ― Pema Chödrön

xoxo

...

what's best

today i am celebrating that my blog has had more than 10,000 views - and that doesn't include any of the people who get the posts emailed to them. 

10,000 views of things that i have written. little, insignificant me. people from all over the world are visiting my blog. 

it is mind-boggling, overwhelming, and humbling. 

to celebrate this milestone, i am writing about doing what is best for myself. 

it's not easy to do what is best for myself. taking time off work was the most difficult decision i have ever had to make. there has been so much guilt associated with the decision. and it has been the best thing that i ever did for myself. self-care is not valued in our society. self-care is viewed as selfish. i was taught to take care of everyone, to take care of the needs of others, to give and give and give, and not to take. the idea of taking time for myself is so foreign that it feels kind of crazy. 

part of the anxiety about taking time for myself comes from wanting to be "better" ... wanting to fast forward to the place and time where i feel strong, and healthy, and happy. 

i asked nosy nora if she could wave a magic wand to make me all "better" ...

it is going to take time, unfortunately, for me to get to the place that i want to get to. i am moving forward on my journey. i am much further along than i was a year ago. i am much further along that i was a few months ago. but the only thing that is going to get me to where i want to be is ME. 

i have also wished for a fast forward button. this kind of work is HARD. and whenever i wish to skip ahead, i am reminded of the lyrics to my favourite song:

"sometimes we ask to take a closer look, skip to the final chapter of the book, and then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took, to get us where we are this far. but the question drowns in its futility, and even i have got to laugh at me. no one gets to miss the storm of what will be, just holding on for the ride." - emily saliers

here i am, in what i think is the eye of the storm. things have been quiet and calm lately, but i know that there will be stormy weather before i come out the other side. 

this blog has been a life-saver for me. it keeps me grounded. it keeps me afloat. it keeps me focused on what i need to do to get better. 

i appreciate all my readers. i appreciate the feedback and support that i receive. 

my best advice is to take time for yourself, even if it is 5 minutes a day. give yourself what you deserve, which is time and self-focused energy. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

...

uitwaaien FACTS ...

i am on a uitwaaien. i am taking a mental health break while i walk in the wind of my life. giving myself the space to decompress, de-stress, and deal with my internal struggles. 

and this uitwaaien causes me a whole lot of anxiety!!

i have this theory that when faced with anxiety and self-doubts, and worrying and self-loathing, one way to battle the negative self-talk is to list the facts. 

i call my theory: Fast Accurate Concise Truthful Statements (FACTS). 

for example, i am worrying and unable to sleep because of an appointment with a specialist tomorrow who is going to tell me to lose weight. 

FACT: i know i need to lose weight. 

FACT: he has no idea what a day in my life is like. 

FACT: it will be a brief appointment and i can decide not to see him again if i don't want to see him again. 

FACT: this will not kill me. 

FACT: i have polycystic ovarian syndrome and hypothyroidism which makes losing weight extremely difficult. 

i am also anxious about taking a laughter yoga class. because i don't know what to expect. because it sounds crazy. because i can't picture myself making myself laugh in front of a group of strangers. 

FACT: i never have to go back if i hate it

FACT: i don't have to do anything that i don't want to do

FACT: i can get up and walk out if it's too much

FACT: i can choose to watch

FACT: this is not going to kill me. 

when i am in the middle of a panic attack, there are several strategies that i have used. nosy nora suggests 2 techniques, one is to activate the rational brain (eg. counting backwards by 3's) and the other is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. (for more info click on the links at the bottom of this post ...) i do this by squeezing the edges of my finger tips, or finding a sore spot in the fleshy but of my thumb and rubbing that spot. 

and now i have added my Fast Accurate Concise Truthful Statements (FACTS) technique while i am activating my parasympathetic nervous system. so i squeeze my finger tips while listing the FACTS  about the situation that is causing me anxiety. 

i will admit that sometimes i forget to do any of these techniques. sometimes i fall into the spiral of the panic and let anxiety be in control of my life. AG likes to tell me to tell anxiety that it is no longer in control. and i sometimes need that reminder. okay ... i OFTEN need that reminder as i am struggling to breathe. 

so back to the anxiety around my uitwaaien. i worry that my students are falling behind. i worry that i am being judged by everyone around me. i worry that i am being selfish. i worry that i am wasting time. i worry that i am not getting better.

FACT: some days i can make it through an entire day without crying.

FACT: my students are already "behind" and a few weeks without me isn't the end of the world.

FACT: i am not that important. work carries on without me. 

FACT: i am not selfish, i am taking care of myself and my needs. 

i encourage you to find your own  Fast Accurate Concise Truthful Statements (FACTS) when you are faced with anxiety and self-doubt. don't get me wrong, this is a very new strategy for me and i often forget to do it. i am still learning the best way to approach my FACTS; whether to write them, or to list them in my head, or to tell them to a friend. 

xoxo

...

http://www.wisebrain.org/ParasympatheticNS.pdf

https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/psychological-practices/activating-the-parasympathetic-wing-of-your-nervous-system