it often doesn't feel that way.
i feel needy and my neediness feels like a negative thing.
“In a strong relationship, you should love your companion more than you need them.” ― Steve Maraboli
i don't disagree with the sentiment. loving someone more than you need them is important. however, needing someone is okay too.
“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.” ― Mick Jagger
sometimes getting what you need comes as a surprise. sometimes you don't know what it is that you need until you get it. but need is scary.
If she showed him how much she needed him, he'd run away.” ― Rainbow Rowell
i am scared that my neediness will chase people away. i am scared that my neediness has already chased people away.
nosy nora says that "we're all in this life thing together." and that "it feels good to be needed." (see? i listen)
we all need each other to survive. it's a big wild world and no one can survive on their own.
“The world says: "You have needs -- satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more." This is the worldly doctrine of today.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
demand more. demand that your needs be met. demand that you have as much right to your needs as anyone else.
“It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.”
asking for what you want and need is terrifying. it means admitting that you can't do it all alone. it means admitting that you are not able to do it by yourself. and it might mean making yourself appear selfish and indulgent.
“Wherever you turn, you can find someone who needs you. Even if it is a little thing, do something for which there is no pay but the privilege of doing it. Remember, you don't live in a world all of your own.” ― Albert Schweitzer
as much as you need others ... others need you ... we are here for each other. as much as i feel needy, i am needed by other people. and their needs don't overwhelm me. so why do i feel like my needs will overwhelm others?
“If you feel ashamed about your need for love & support, it's because you were made to feel this way as a child. It's not a sign of weakness to want affirmation, reassurance or someone to count on; these are natural, appropriate needs. Just make sure to be there for yourself first.” ― Marcia Sirota
it is both natural and appropriate to need love and support, despite what you were taught as a child. i learned that you were supposed to count on yourself for everything. i was responsible for myself. i took care of myself. i didn't express wants or needs, even as a young child. i remember being 9 and asking for a chocolate bar and being told no and i started to whine. my aunt was there and said "this isn't the april that i know. the april i know never whines." and that was the last time i asked for anything.
now, a chocolate bar isn't a need. i get that. i get that it wasn't the best example. however, it is an example of how i learned not to ask for anything and that included expressing what i needed.
i suffered from depression from an early age. at 13, i wanted to be dead. not a day went by that i didn't wish that i could die. and i was sure that no one would notice or care.
at no point did i tell anyone or ask for support. because i was supposed to be mature, independent, responsible, and able to cope with the world.
i didn't seek support for my anxiety and depression until very recently. and it still makes me uncomfortable to need someone to give me support. it goes against my feelings of being independent.
“People’re a nestful of needs. Dull needs, sharp needs, bottomless-pit needs, flash-in-the-pan needs, needs for things you can’t hold, needs for things you can.” ― David Mitchell
we are full of all types of needs.
need for love, affection, attention, intimacy, support, friendship, food, safety ...
and none of us can do this life thing on our own.
be kind to yourself,
xoxo
...
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