numbing

ways to be numb:

pills
food
alcohol
extreme sports
exercise
sleep
avoiding people and social situations
gambling
smoking
sex
the internet


we numb ourselves to avoid the difficult feelings. the feelings that are overwhelming. 

“I just let the pain take over, allowing it to numb the pain of being left behind.” 
― Jessica Sorensen

the pain of being left behind can be drowning. the pain of friends growing apart. of lovers leaving. of loved ones dying. of friends moving away or moving on. 

“I’ve perfected the art of the fake smile. It’s not so difficult when you are completely numb.” 
― Bethany Griffin

when you numb yourself to the pain so completely, that you feel nothing, you find yourself able to fake your way through your life. a fake smile plastered on your face and the answer, "fine" when asked how you are. when you numb yourself so completely to the pain, you feel nothing, not even the good feelings. 

“I was enveloped in numbness, and absence of feeling so deep the bottom was lost from view.” 
― Haruki Murakami

when you allow the numbness to take over, you can no longer see how far there is to fall. the bottom has fallen out from under you and you feel nothing. numbing yourself prevents you from being able to see the world realistically. you see only what you want to see. 

“Once I was free; there was no cage that could bind me, and I had yet to create my box of numbness within my mind to be my silent protector.” 
― J.D. Stroube

numbness is used for protection. to protect your mind from reliving pain, from experiencing sadness, from thinking about loss. but the numbness, whether through food or drugs or alcohol or gambling or sleep ... the numbness prevents you from feeling the good things in life. prevents you from seeing the beauty in a sunflower, the wonder in a baby's smile, the amazement of a sunset, the warmth of a hug. 

numbing is a form of addiction. or what i like to call CRBDAC (Continued repetition of Behaviours Despite Adverse Consequences - Nosy Nora).

Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease affecting the brain’s reward, motivation, and related systems. People struggling with addiction are unable to control their actions or make rational decisions about their behaviour, even in the face of negative consequences.
http://www.albertafamilywellness.org/brain-development-addiction/different-kinds-addiction

finding a way to work through the numbness, to allow in the feelings, means overcoming addiction and you may need to seek support to do this effectively. 

being numb may feel good in the moment, in the short-term. but over time numbness takes over and becomes a natural way of being. but the truth is, there is nothing natural about being numb to the wonderous world in which we live. 

finding ways to numb yourself becomes habitual and can feel good. interesting ... the lack of feeling can feel good. but it is not a real feeling of goodness. it is false. 

if you are finding that you are numbing ... please seek support. feel free to email me and i will try to help you find support in your area. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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