my brain

being inside my brain these days would be like standing in a hailstorm ... or trying to outrun a tornado. my brain is constantly going; worrying, thinking, singing songs, repeating sentences, worrying some more. 

i wanted to explain the way i think about my brain. 

i feel it in layers. 

Jung believed:

" [...]  that the mind could be divided into unconscious and conscious parts. He felt that the unconscious mind was made up of layers. The personal unconscious is the part of the unconscious mind in which is stored each person's unique personal experiences and memories that may not be consciously remembered. Jung believed that the contents of each person's personal unconscious are organized in terms of complexes - clusters of emotional unconscious thoughts. One may have a complex towards their mother or towards their partner. Jung referred to the second layer of unconsciousness as the collective unconscious. This level contains memories and behavioural predisposition's that all people have inherited from common ancestors in the distant human past, providing us with essentially shared memories and tendencies. People across space and time tend to interpret and use experience in similar ways because of "archetypes" - universal, inherited human tendencies to perceive and act in certain ways. During analytic therapy, Jung may use certain archetypes to explain a persons unconscious thoughts that in turn affect their outward behaviour." 

 http://www.psychologycampus.com/analytical-psychology.html

but that isn't what i mean. i mean that my mind is in layers of thought, thinking at the same time, making my head loud and crowded at all times. 

at the back are the worrying thoughts that are always there. in the background. the next layer takes in what i see and hear and touch and smell and taste. then there is the next layer where music lives. lyrics and melodies running in a loop in the background. then there is the layer that thinks about what i am doing as i am doing it. and then the front layer which thinks the sentences that i am going to say aloud. sometimes in a loop. like, i will think the sentence "we need milk." and i will think that sentence over and over again in a loop until i say it aloud. other times i just think the sentence once before i say it. 

all that goes on at the same time. it's crowded in my head. making my head quiet is nearly impossible. the only time my head is quiet is in the early hours of the morning when i am half asleep and half awake. it's why i like sleeping in. sleeping in gives me time for my head to be quiet. 


does anyone else think the way i do? does anyone else have a busy head? or am i totally crazy?

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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