pride

“You have some queer friends, Dorothy,' she said.The queerness doesn't matter, so long as they're friends,' was the answer” ― L. Frank Baum

why do i get so excited about a million queers coming together to celebrate our diversity and our strength and our pride? 

first of all ... i hate crowds. no, you don't understand, i HATE crowds. i also hate the heat. i hate wandering aimlessly up and down the street. i hate being bumped into. i hate people smoking in the crowds and having to breathe in the smoke. 

so ... why do i love pride weekend? 

we live in toronto, where queer people are somewhat accepted. i am out to my family, friends, colleagues, health care workers, therapist, without issue. i am NOT out to my students. or their parents. because it doesn't feel safe. 

safety. 

i love pride weekend because you can be out and open and express yourself in the safety of the village, surrounded by other queers who get your story, who get your experience. 

“That's one of the things that "queer" can refer to: the open mesh of possibilities, gaps, overlaps, dissonances and resonances, lapses and excesses of meaning when the constituent elements of anyone's gender, of anyone's sexuality aren't made (or can't be made) to signify monolithically.” ― Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

i remember my first queer pride experience. i was 17 and with an amazing group of friends. we were overwhelmed and amazed. we were shocked by so much that we saw. i wasn't out to many people yet, and it was incredible to be surrounded by queers from all over who were welcoming and happy and celebrating. my first introduction to the queer world was happiness. 

“What I love about being queer is... Everything. I like that it makes me different, and I like that it makes people uncomfortable sometimes. I like that it makes people ask me lots of questions about things they probably would not normally ask people about their relationships or lifestyles. And most of all I love being queer because i get to have a girlfriend.” ― Tegan Quin

over the years, i have done things like walk topless down yonge street with glitter on my breasts, spend hours in the beer garden at the 519 community centre sitting and talking with friends, people watching, walking up and down the street aimlessly for hours, sitting on the street watching people walk by and guessing their stories. 

and the one thing that remains the same is the feeling of community. the feeling of belonging. 

this year, i am missing the pride festivities because i have a choir performance. i have been pissed off about it for months. but as i was thinking about it this morning, i came to realize that my big gay choir is my big gay family - including the annoying cousins, the rude aunts, the creepy uncles, and the dearest hearts. 

so this year, i am not "missing" pride, i am spending it singing with my big queer family on a big gay stage being annoyed, being happy, being out, being proud, being strong, being silly, being irritated, being mad, being giddy, being excited, and being human. 

happy pride!

be kind to yourself, 
xoxo

“Are you queer? she said.Me? Yea, I'm queer as a coot.You dont look it.Is that right? You know a lot of queers?You dont act it I guess I should say.Well darlin what would you know about it?I dont know.Say it again.What?Say it again. I dont know.I dont know.That's good. You need to practice that. It sounds good on you.” ― Cormac McCarthy

...