“All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret.” ― Gabriel García Márquez
today nosy nora brought up the difference between secrecy and privacy.
secrecy: the action of keeping something secret. something that is kept unknown by others.
privacy: the condition of being free from being observed by other people.
i think that there are much larger differences. i think that secrecy implies shame. captain stressy pants suggested that it also implies something negative.
“If you have to keep a secret it's because you shouldn't be doing it in the first place” ― David Nicholls
secrets are things that can hurt other people. secrets are gossip. secrets are harmful.
“Privacy - like eating and breathing - is one of life's basic requirements.” ― Katherine Neville
privacy is a right we all have. privacy means being able to keep things to yourself. privacy means having things that no one else needs to know - things that are just for you.
“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.”
secrets are shameful things that we don't want to bring into the light. private things are simply that: private.
“If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.” ― David Sedaris
when we invade someone's privacy, we sometimes learn things that we didn't want to know. and the only people who suffer are the ones who invaded the privacy in the first place.
everyone has the right to private thoughts, private desires, private fantasies, private writing, private space.
“Here in your mind you have complete privacy. Here there's no difference between what is and what could be.” ― Chuck Palahniuk
we all have private lives. not telling my students about my life at home isn't about me keeping secrets, it's about me having privacy.
“Privacy is not something that I'm merely entitled to, it's an absolute prerequisite.” ― Marlon Brando
we are all entitled to privacy, even from our best friends, our family, and our partners. everyone needs to be able to have thoughts and desires that are simply theirs for their own minds. nosy nora used the example of sexual fantasies - before the internet and the ability to look up anything and everything, people fantasized privately in their own minds. now when they get "caught" looking at their fantasies online, it becomes a secret ... which implies shame. but there is nothing wrong with having a fantasy. it's not a secret, it's a private thought.
“Privacy - like eating and breathing - is one of life's basic requirements.” ― Katherine Neville
there is nothing wrong with privacy. we are all entitled to it. secrets, on the other hand, breed shame. so ask yourself, is what you're keeping to yourself a secret, or is it private?
be kind to yourself, in public and in private,
xoxo
“And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell...You know you love me.XOXO,Gossip Girl” ― Cecily von Ziegesar
...
It's even in the language we use. We_have_ and even_expect_ privacy. . We_keep_ secrets.
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