tired

i haven't been writing as much lately. 

because i am tired. 

incredibly drainingly tired.

i go to bed at 10, sleep until 1, take a nap in the afternoon, and am ready for bed at 10 again. and i am without energy all day long. 

i yawn and drag myself around and my eye lids are droopy. 

i have begun to worry that there is something wrong. 

it isn't normal to be so tired and to want to sleep so much. 

today i did yoga, and went for a 30 minute walk. and it nearly killed me. then i went out for dinner with friends and had trouble staying awake at the table! 

i feel like i am dragging myself through my days. and missing out on life. 

have any of you ever experienced this constant unexplained fatigue? and what have you done to counteract it? i don't want to be this tired. and i don't want to sleep this much. 

be kind to yourself,

xoxo

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“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

i have rediscovered how much i love walking. 

the solitude and time to think. the repetition of one foot in front of the other, carrying your body forward. my best ideas come while i am walking. 

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” ― Steven Wright

there was a time when i would get up early every morning and take the dog for a walk, and then take the dog for a second walk when i came home from work. 

and i loved it. 

and then, over time, i got lazier and lazier and less and less motivated and my walks shrank from an hour to half an hour, and then to twenty minutes, and then to fifteen minutes, and then to once a day. (poor dog)

“But the beauty is in the walking -- we are betrayed by destinations.” ― Gwyn Thomas

and recently i have rediscovered the joy of forward motion. i was complaining to radical t this evening that i hate walking if i don't have a destination. i hate walking for the sake of walking. and then, i put on my shoes, tied the dog's leash around my waist and went for a walk with no destination and it felt so good. it felt good to move my body. nosy nora says that moving your body moves your hormones around and makes you feel better ... and i think she's right. 

my walk was joyful. 

dr. mike evans suggests that walking 30 minutes a day can make a big difference in your health. what he actually suggests is that we spend only 23 1/2 hours a day sitting, and spend 30 minutes walking. you can see his video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo

“A lone walker is both present and detached, more than an audience but less than a participant. Walking assuages or legitimizes this alienation.” ― Rebecca Solnit

i also complained to radical t about walking by myself. walking alone can be intimidating sometimes as i walk by creepy, leering men, i become afraid. we live in a world where men think that it is okay to cat call women (and much worse), and that makes me uncomfortable. and at the same time, walking alone is also liberating. 

taking the time to think and feel and be with my thoughts. taking the time for myself. taking the time for ME. 

not to mention the happiness expressed by the dog who has missed our long walks. 


“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.” 
― Ellen DeGeneres

be kind to yourself,

xoxo

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