and i have posted before about how my most of my angels are here are earth with me:
@ ARD who says funny things about my infertility like "well, they need to fix that."
@ DV who texts "yay yay yay!" and listens with patience to my detailed descriptions of levels and ultrasounds and my whining and complaining.
@ HC and GC who send love love love and have been drivers in the most awkward situations imaginable.
@ AS who gives us love and hugs and comes for tea when she knows we need a distraction.
@ GT who listens to ALL OF IT and says "no!" at all the right parts and covers for me every time i have an early ultrasound or get caught in traffic after blood work.
and of course, the most important,
@ BB, who rubs my belly and talks to my ovaries and lets me cry and tells me it will be okay and reminds me of what this is all for.
but this week i met a new angel. VS. she was my dance teacher for all 5 years of high school. i went to a show on thursday night and VS was there. we said hello and hugged. and then she said something that i have been replaying over and over in my head. she said:
"i can feel something big is going to happen for you. i can feel it standing right here with you. i want you to open yourself to the universe. be open to creation. focus on being open and then just sit back and watch. don't stress. don't think about it. just watch what you will create."
drawing borrowed from this website
i have decided that the angels are everywhere:
@ Bernice who stabs me for blood, but who always makes me laugh and who tells me an abridged version of the clinic gossip (i hope she wins at BINGO soon).
@ Anna, the nurse, who listens to the doctor and makes faces behind his back when he is babbling about yak urine and yams.
@ the pharmacist who prepares my prescription each month and makes sure that nothing i am taking will interfere with fertility.
@ MHD-Z who reads my emails and tells me everything will be alright. who told me to give my body a break and that the 74 day cycle was due to hormonal imbalance from all the drugs in the fall.
@ CR who asked the most inappropriate questions after only having spoken to her once before, but who made me realize that even though we have been "trying to conceive" for a year and a half, we have actually only had 2 IUIs which in the grand scheme of things is not very long at all. it's about average to take 3-6 tries.
@ Pokey Sue, who sticks seventy-three needles in me twice a week and balances my chi and got rid of my cysts.
(april at a picnic at the zoo with a friend's baby.
she would be made a wonderful mama)
There are angels everywhere.
you just have to open your eyes.
xoxo
.......
