i love nail polish. i have a whole bag of it. my aunt C taught me how to put on nail polish. she would paint my nails, put on music, and then we would dance around the living room shaking our hands to help the polish dry. for years, i had no idea that it would just dry on its own. i thought you had to do the nail polish dance, or at least shake your hands around and blow on your nails.
i have a problem with nail polish though ... i can't seem to keep it on. i do my nails and within a few hours they are chipped ... within a day they are chipped badly and i have to take the polish off, or touch up the corners and tips of my nails.
my toes, on the other hand ... well they get chipped or the polish rubs off, but i am too lazy to get out the nail polish remover and scrub my toe nails clean. so i paint another layer on top. and when that one starts to peel off, i paint another layer on top of that.
layers.
i think we paint layers on ourselves when we start to peel or chip. when we start to show our true selves, we panic and cover it up. just like when my nails start to show through the shiny enamel colour, i repaint to hide my nail. in the same way, we hide our true selves for fear of being vulnerable.
“If we’re wrapping ourselves up to conceal any vulnerability, whatever happens to us has to go through all those extra layers. Sometimes love doesn’t even reach where we truly live.” ― Alexandra Katehakis
being known, truly known, is the scariest most beautiful feeling in the world. peeling back layers of colour, layers of protection, layers of identities, to reveal the truth underneath ... letting yourself be seen for who you truly are with all your "perfect imperfections" ... this is what it means to be vulnerable. this is what it means to be authentic. this is what it means to be loved.
not all layers are there for protection from the outside world. some of our layers are simply experiences that make us who we are. each experience adds another layer to our life story.
growing up is like learning that you don't need to do the nail polish dance to dry the colourful polish. each experience adds a layer of truth to ourselves. each event adds a layer to our life.
will you peel your layers? remove them? paint over them? how will you expose yourself past your layers to let the world in and to let yourSELF out?
be kind to yourself,
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that's what I know for sure... I think.Ellen DeGeneres
xoxo
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