when singing, there is only music ...

"If i cannot fly, let me sing." 

- Stephen Sondheim

singing. music. guitar. piano. singing solo. singing in a choir. singing in an ensemble. 

music has been part of my life for as long as i can remember. 

sitting at the campfire, singing silly songs. singing in circle time at school. joining the school choir. taking music lessons. learning recorder, violin, flute, drums, piano, and eventually my voice. 

music plays a role in my life in so many situations. 

first, there is the choir that i sing in. 

When you sing with a group of people, you learn how to subsume yourself into a group consciousness because a capella singing is all about the immersion of the self into the community. That's one of the great feelings - to stop being me for a little while and to become us. That way lies empathy, the great social virtue.

- Brian Eno

singing in the choir, whether it is a capella or accompanied, is a means of connection on an inexplicable level. blending your voices in harmony, having one message that touches people emotionally and/or spiritually. singing with a group is like communicating as a group; a mutual understanding of something greater than ourselves. AT said she sings in a choir because "it's a source of feeling connected, of sharing a love and working together for a common purpose. it's a safe place. where i feel secure. both in who i am and my ability to make a meaningful contribution to the group."

singing in a group is also a way to come together and focus on something outside of ourselves and our lives. AG said "i like the sense of teamwork. i like making music with other people. it requires dedication and focus. takes me out of my head, for 2 hours i focus only on the music, not work or life stress."

for me, going to choir every week is my church. we come together as a community. we have routines. we stand up and sit down a bunch of times. we sing together. we listen to a "sermon" by the director. we break bread together. and then we stand together and sing our private song and go our separate ways until the following week. 

Brene Brown wrote: 

"Laughter, song, and dance are so woven into the fabric of our everyday life that we can forget how much we value the people who can make us laugh [...] laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: we are not alone."

singing with other people confirms, affirms, and reaffirms that i am not alone. that i am part of a community. that no matter how alone i feel; no matter how lonely i am: i belong.

then there are the songs that touch me and move me through life. songs that i turn to when i need to be cheered up. songs that remind me of my first love, or the love of my life. songs that i listen to when i am sad. lonely sad songs that i can sing along to. at the moment, i am OBSESSED with karen carpenter. i am listening to her music on repeat. all the time. when i want to be cheered up, i listen to Jambalya on repeat ... for hours ... it is my happy place at the moment. and i sing along at the top of my longs. Click here to listen. Rainy Days and Mondays Get me Down is one of the ones i am listening to through this depression. Click here for a listen. 

For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness.

Reba McEntire

then there are the songs that feel like they were written FOR you. like the artist climbed into your head and wrote the song through you. i have 3 of those. and they are my private songs. for now. 

this post has been the most difficult that i have ever written. music is such an important part of my being. someone asked me once, "why do you sing?" and my response was "because i can't not sing." 

yes, i sing in the shower. but i also sing in the kitchen, and in the car (at the top of my lungs), and in the living room, and sometimes in bed. i sing through the day. i sing with people. i sing alone. i make up songs about what i am doing. i sing songs that are stuck in my head. i sing songs that i have been listening to in the car. i sing and i sing and i sing. 

i really wanted to write about singing and music. and i had no idea that it was going to be such a challenge! i encourage you to find your music. find your song. laugh, dance, sing, play, bang on some drums (or pots and pans), and find people to do it with. 

i think that ella fitzgerald said it best:

"The only thing better than singing is more singing."

xoxo

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