music

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

i think music is innate in all of us. we are born with a natural rhythm. think about babies moving to the music. think about that video of that baby bopping along to beyonce ...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU9MuM4lP18&feature=kp
we are born to move to the rhythm of the earth, the sky, and our hearts. 

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 
― Bob Marley

music was always complicated for me. i loved music from the time i was born. but at school, i always felt discouraged from singing and making music. i felt like the other kids were given opportunities and that i was left on the sidelines. so i made it my mission to immerse myself in music. between the ages of 6 and 14, i learned:

• piano
• violin
• guitar
• drums
• recorder
• and even the glockenspiel 

all as a way to find my voice. to find a way to speak that which had no words. 

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” 
― Victor Hugo

it wasn't until grade 8 that i discovered i could sing. i had always been discouraged from singing. my aunt once told me, "CP is talented, but you, you just have an average voice, anyone can sing." so i hid in the background. 

then i had a teacher, one i wish i could track down in the world and thank for saving my life. for changing my life. for believing in me. and she encouraged me to sing. she made the music teacher give me a solo in the concert. and she helped me audition for an arts school. 

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” 
― Albert Einstein

music became my refuge. that same teacher helped me get my first guitar when i was 13. and i played that old nylon-stringed guitar every day for my entire teen-aged years. my guitar became an extension of mySelf. 

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” 
― Maya Angelou

i love the way the curves of the guitar fit on my thigh and cradles my breast. i love the smell of the wood, the feel of the nylon strings as i strum, the echo of the notes in the body of the guitar. 

“Where words leave off, music begins.” 
― Heinrich Heine

there are things that words can't express and that is where music takes over. there is nothing like singing in harmony in a group of people; letting the notes ring. 

“Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here!” 
― J.K. Rowling

music is magical. 

if you don't play or sing, you can listen. with earphones. (my new favourite song is by Hedley and it is called "Headphones" ... have a listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcKCOS6bhN4 ) let yourself be immersed in the sound of the music. sing along. loudly. dance in your kitchen when no one is watching. feel the rhythm. 

“Music . . . can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.” 
― Leonard Bernstein

be kind to yourself, and let yourself feel the music,

xoxo

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harmony

this weekend i participated in an LGBTQ choral music festival that happens once every 4 years in different parts of canada. this year there were 19 choirs participating. between the parties, the lack of sleep, the lack of time to eat proper food, the rehearsals, the ironing of shirts ... there came a moment as i was listening to a choir sing that i thought about what it meant to have the "luxury" to sit in a room full of LGBTQ people who share a love of music - a love of singing together in harmony. 

i wanted to share with you what it means to sing in an LGBTQ choir. it is an experience like no other. here is a quote from the 20th anniversary of my choir ... 

The world was a different place twenty years ago. Basic gay rights in Ontario had only been passed through provincial parliament in 1986. AIDS had killed thousands, with no good treatment in sight. Coming out could still shock people. Standing on stage and singing as a gay and lesbian choir was an act of defiance, and an opportunity to put a very different face on the community than that seen on the news.Through twenty years of change, Singing Out has been there, protesting, entertaining, celebrating, educating, and changing hearts through music. We’ve shown how very different kinds of people can work together to make something wonderful happen, starting by learning to manage a little harmony. 

http://www.singingout.com/20th-anniversary/

harmony ... the interlocking of different parts into a singular whole. the harmony of music. the harmony of ideas. the harmony of a group.


“It is a powerful and amazing force with all these voices working towards one purpose and one song.”

singing with a queer choir is a special kind of experience. although it is not me singular identity, being a lesbian means something to me. and to sing with a group of people who "get it" is really important to me. to share my voice with the voices of others who have similar narratives is a way of making harmony. 

“It was a completely different way of fighting the culture war, by reaching out rather than striking back. And it was a place I knew I could make a difference.”

our choir chooses songs that have a message. we fight against homophobia, and against oppression by joining our voices together in song. we sing against injustice. we don't hide who we are, we stand proud and strong. 

“The most challenging moment as a member of the choir came when, in my first year, I had to sing a song entitled: “I Like Being A Dyke.” I could hardly say the word “dyke” in conversation! To sing it proudly and become comfortable with the word was a definite challenge!”

i am lucky. i shouldn't have to define myself as lucky. but i do. i came out at 17 and was fully supported by my friends and teachers. my family accepted my identity as normal. and i married a woman whose family accepts and loves us for who we are, not for who we love. 

it is easy for me to stand on a stage surrounded by queers and identify myself as one. it is easy for me to sing songs with queer content. 

the rest of the world ... the rest of the country ... the rest of this city ... the rest of the choir have not been so "lucky" in that they have faced fear, discrimination, and sometimes violence. i shouldn't have to call myself "lucky" ... my story should be the norm. we should all EXPECT that we are accepted, loved, and treated with dignity and respect. 

“I have made so many amazing friends in choir, and I love to see them each week. I know that no matter how I am feeling when I walk through the door of rehearsal, I will always leave feeling uplifted and inspired.”

the choir is an extended family. a chosen family. people that we love. people who support us. who are there for us. including the annoying aunt who won't stop talking, the creepy uncle, the opinionated cousins. being in a choir means having a place to go every week where i am accepted for who i am, and as i am. it means having a place to go every week where our voices meet in harmony. 


i hope that your life is full of harmony, in whatever way that means for you. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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