fear of success

yesterday i wrote about the fear of failure and how it can be paralyzing. and today i want to talk about the fear of success which can be equally paralyzing.

Here are 3 examples of fear of success:

1. Fear of Not Coping With Success

As Hugh MacLeod points out, success is more complex than failure. On some level, it’s more comfortable to stay in a familiar situation, even if it doesn’t feel great on the surface. But achieving success (however you define it) means you are entering uncharted territory. You are putting yourself out there to be scrutinized and criticized, and exposing yourself to new pressures and demands.

It’s only human to wonder whether you’ll be up to the challenge. A small anxious part of you would rather not take the risk. http://99u.com/articles/14347/are-you-subconsciously-afraid-of-success

2. Fear of Selling Out

Creatives have a complicated relationship with success. On the one hand, you wouldn’t be reading 99U if you weren’t ambitious to succeed; on the other, you don’t want success at all costs – especially the loss of your artistic integrity.

Whatever choices you make, if you achieve any kind of public success, it’s a sad fact that someone, somewhere will be thinking (and even saying) nasty things about you – including accusations of “selling out.” http://99u.com/articles/14347/are-you-subconsciously-afraid-of-success

3. Fear of Becoming Someone Else

Because we habitually put successful people on pedestals, the idea of becoming “one of them” can feel daunting. You start to worry that you’ll turn into someone else, a person your friends and family won’t recognize—and won’t like.

This fear has some foundation in reality. After all, if you were satisfied with the person you are now, why would you want to change? But it’s also founded on a false premise: that change is about leaving your old self behind and replacing it with a completely new one. Change is more complex than that. You are definitely more complex than that.  http://99u.com/articles/14347/are-you-subconsciously-afraid-of-success

another reason is that we fear we don't deserve the success. so we sabotage ourselves. will we change when we succeed? will we like the person we become? will other people still like us?

tiny buddha offers 6 ways to overcome the fear of success:

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcome-fear-of-success-6-ways-to-start-thriving/

1. be positive
2. continually remind yourself you are part of something larger than you
3. take time to find your authenticity 
4. create your success library
5. learn
6. live in balance

visit the website for an explanation of the 6 ways.

but what about me? what do i think?

i think that you need to face your fears head on. you need to ask yourself what will happen if you succeed. and more importantly, you need to ask yourself what is keeping you from succeeding. 

i have been on diet after diet since i was 9 years old. and none of them have offered me any sort of success. then i stopped dieting. i started listening to my body. listening to what it wants to eat. and i started to lose weight. but whenever i hit a milestone, i sabotage myself. i'm terrified of what it could mean to be thin. being thin is scarier than being fat. 

the worst is when people comment on my weight loss. as if it is a triumph. as if i was so fat before that my weight loss is noticeable. as if it is anyone else's business. it makes me want to binge. 

good thing i have coping strategies that i didn't have before. 

so many of us are afraid of failure, but so many of us are just as afraid of success. 

be kind to yourself, 

xoxo

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